Garrison KeillorThinkers

Adultery is hard on a small town because it can cause sudden population loss, and usually it's ihe wrong people who get run out.

A Bikini is like a loaded gun on your coffee table. Nothing wrong with it, but it's hard to stop thinking about.

A Book is a gift you can open again and again.

The Cat is intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a function.

The Cat is intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a purpose.

Christmas is a lovely in part because it is compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together.

Death is just a distant rumor to the young.

The English (language) is the perfect language for preachers because it allows you to talk until you think of what to say.

Intelligence is like four-wheel drive. It only allows you to get stuck in more remote places.

Lying is a way of taking personal responsibility for reality.

March is the month that shows people who don't drink exactly how a hangover feels.