A Battery is, much like breasts, an object that gets smaller the more A's it has.

A Battery is essentially canned electricity.

The Battery is the most dramatic object because while other things break, batteries die.

A Deadline is essential to fulfilling goals — a goal without a deadline is just a dream.

The Deadline is the terrible anvil on which one forges one's style.

The Deadline is best loved for the wooshing noise it makes as it goes by.

The Deadline is motivating — a deadline has a wonderful way of concentrating the mind.

A Forecast is to predict that an event will happen, if it does, by basing calculations on events that have already happened, if they did. (One may forecast and be right, wrong, or neither. It depends.)

A Forecast is to observe that which has passed, and guess it will happen again

A Forecast is to anticipate the future by guessing at the past.

A Forecast is just a guess by someone who holds an academic degree.

Investment is wise — Put no trust in money; put your money in trust.

Investment is tricky — never invest your money in anything that eats or needs repainting.

Investment is never done without risk — it costs money to make money.

Investment is a fishing line baited with a herring in the hope of catching a marlin, which briefly flirts and tugs - then escapes with our offering in its belly, prompting us to stick another herring on the hook.