A Cafe is less about really drinking your coffee or your tea, it is about drinking your projects, drinking your worries. You are not real, and the coffee is not real either.

A Cafe is a failed restaurant.

Church is not just about attendance — Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

Church is not what makes one a Christian any more than going into a barn would make one a horse

Church is an edifice wherein inspired fogyism gets its final degree.

Church is a counterpane for the dead.

A Dog park is large plot of land set aside for mass humping and butthole sniffing.

A Dog park is a crowdsourced neighborhood zoo.

A Dog park is a dog swingers club.

A Dog park is a canine version of Eyes Wide Shut.

The Festival is defined by the normalcy which brackets it. There is no festival without a tomorrow.

Festival is any irrelevant public arts event funded by a council.

A Festival is a religious celebration usually signaled by gluttony and drunkenness, frequently in honor of some holy person distinguished for abstemiousness

The Festival is festive.