An Alibi is no easy thing — the innocent can’t account for their whereabouts nearly as well as the guilty.

An Alibi is a reason with a bad reputation.

An Alibi is the proof that you did do what you didn't do so that others will think you didn't do what you did.

An Alibi is first cousin to an excuse, and they're both mighty poor relations.

A Donation is an advance on ingratitude.

Donation is a confession of guilt.

A Donation is distinguished from a gift in that gifts go to a person; donations to people.

A Donation is money given voluntarily to a charity or demanded in specific amounts by museums too high-minded to charge admission.

An Excuse is often an admission of guilt — The lady doth protest too much, methinks.

The Excuse is best kept simple — Several excuses are always less convincing than one.

An Excuse is often unwise — oftentimes a fault is made worse by the excuse.

An Excuse is a sign of guilt — He who excuses himself accuses himself.

Gasoline is the incense of civilization.

Gasoline is car juice

Gasoline is, oddly, the name we've given to a liquid.

Gasoline is not so expensive if you consider that we're really buying liquid explosive dinosaurs.