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is not the conferring of a distinction but merely pointing out the distinction that the recipient herself has achieved.

We are not conferring a distinction on them... we are merely pointing out the distinction they themselves have achieved.

is a thing which to refuse amounts to another way of accepting it with more noise than is normal.

To refuse awards is another way of accepting them with more noise than is normal. Peter Ustinov

is today an unstoppably inflating business which exists to reward sponsors, to pacify egos, to generate sales, and to puff reputations.

'The unstoppably inflating awards business exists to reward sponsors, to pacify egos, to generate sales, and to puff reputations. This doesn't matter so much in the world of ads and artifacts, any more than it does in the world where you see the 'hotel employee of the month' scowling at you from a reusable plastic frame as you drum your gnawed fingers at an abandoned ('Thank you for giving us the opportunity to serve you better') reception desk. It does make a difference, though, in the world of letters.'

is like hemorrhoids... sooner or later, every asshole gets one.

Awards are like haemorrhoids... sooner or later, every asshole gets one.

 one should not only never accept. One should try not to deserve one too.

Not only should you never accept a prize, you should try not to deserve one either.

is a measurement of the degree to which an Establishment meets the talent which it had hindered and helped.

 often gets one into disreputable company.

I've been offered titles but I think they get one into disreputable company.

award, n.Dad Jokes

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