An Advice column (n.) prints the answer the letter writer already knew and wanted in writing.
An Advice column (n.) is like a confessional with a circulation department.
An Advice column (n.) is a letter that begins "my friend has a problem" and fools no one.
An Advice column (n.) lets a stranger settle what a marriage has been arguing about for years.
The Comics page (n.) is kept going by strips that stopped being funny and started being furniture.
The Comics page (n.) keeps its jokes kinder than anything printed on the pages around it.
The Comics page (n.) is handed to the child to keep the rest of the table quiet.
The Comics page (n.) is the page adults read first and admit to reading last.
Letters to the editor (n.) begin with "as a longtime subscriber," which is the threat.
Letters to the editor (n.) print a private grievance under a full name and the neighbourhood it came from.
Letters to the editor (n.) come from the same handful of people in every town, year after year.
Letters to the editor (n.) are arguments with a whole town, printed a week after anyone cared.
Masthead (n.) is the list in a newspaper or magazine of its owners, editors and staff.
The Masthead (n.) is read almost entirely by people checking whether their name is still on it.
The Masthead (n.) is essentially the list of guilty parties.