Boston University (n.) is a school laid out along a road, so the commute is the campus.
Brown University (n.) is an Ivy for people who want to disapprove of the Ivy League from inside it.
Caltech (n.) takes the best student from each high school and introduces them to the median.
Cambridge University (n.) puts brilliant young people in freezing old rooms and calls the discomfort formative.
A Cambridge University (n.) is an hour a week spent defending an essay to someone who wrote the book.