Alphonse AllaisThinkers

A Bad idea is better than no idea at all.

Bureaucrat is a job consisting primarily of punishing those who are below your rank, and being punished by those above.

A Bus is a vehicle in which there are always free seats when it is going in the opposite direction.

Civilization is nothing but the barracks, the office, the factory, the appetizers, and the bank boys.

The Clock is a device whose tick-tock sounds like mice nibbling away at time.

Coffee is a beverage that puts to sleep when not drunk.

Coffee is a beverage that, when not drank, puts one to sleep.

England is a fantastic country where streets are named not after victories but after defeats {Trafalgar Square, Waterloo Place).

A Gentleman is a man who uses sugar tongs, even when he is alone.

The Mushroom grows in damp places, the reason why they are shaped like an umbrella.

The Police is wrong to bully criminals - without criminals, they wouldn't exist.