Ambrose BierceThinkers

Ability is the natural equipment to accomplish some small part of the meaner ambitions distinguishing able men from dead ones. In the last analysis ability is commonly found to consist mainly in a high degree of solemnity.

Abnormal is not conforming to standard. To be independent in matters of thought and conduct is to be abnormal, to be abnormal is to be detested.

Aborigine is a person of little worth found cumbering the soil of a newly discovered country. They soon cease to cumber... they fertilize.

Absconding is moving in a mysterious way... commonly with the property of another.

Absence blots people out. We really have no absent friends.

Absolute monarchy is a monarchy in which the sovereign does as he pleases so long as he pleases the assassins.

Abstinence is at root an abstention from everything but abstention.

An Accident is an inevitable occurrence arising out of immutable natural laws.

Accordion is an instrument in harmony with the sentiments of an assassin.

Acknowledgement is generally the confession of one another's faults as the highest duty imposed by our love of truth.