Gene PerretThinkers

Driving is america's last surviving form of guerrilla warfare.

The Grandchild is always so full of energy because they suck it out of their grandparents.

A Grandchild is of the belief that their grandparent is the oldest thing in the world. And after two or three hours with them, they believe it, too.

A Grandparent is there to help the child get into mischief they haven't thought of yet.

A Grandparent is thought by their grandchild to be the oldest thing in the world. And after two or three hours with them, they believe it, too.

Hair is the only one real cure for baldness.

Heaven is the ultimate retirement village.

A Hospital is an institution that is dedicated to the cure of disease, and modesty.

Leisure is a fancy word for people who don't want to admit they're bored.

Love is insanity with a collaborator.

Middle age is the time of life when the most fun you have is talking about the most fun you used to have.