Henry BeardThinkers

Appetite is irresistible longing for an unavailable food.

An Aroma is a smell described by a bore.

Breakfast is a meal without dessert, eaten without wine, and served on a table without a tablecloth. It is best slept through.

A Chef is any cook who swears in French.

A Diet is the specific types and quantities of food that any given individual will start eating tomorrow, next week, or after the beginning of the new year.

A Drawer is a mess with a knob on the end.

Fairway is a narrow strip of mown grass that separates two groups of golfers looking for lost balls in the rough.

Fishing is a journey undertaken by one or more anglers to a place where no one can remember when the black flies arrived so early, the ice melted so late, or it rained so much.

A Garden is one of a vast number of free outdoor restaurants operated by charity-minded amateurs in an effort to provide healthful, balanced meals for birds, animals and insects.

A Gourmand is serious eater whose culinary opinions carry at least as much weight as he does.