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Joan Rivers

8 June 1933-4 September 2014

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Anger is a symptom, a way of cloaking and expressing feelings too awful to experience directly - hurt, bitterness, grief and, most of all, fear.

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Comedy is always in a balancing act with anger. Your anger can be 49 percent and your comedy 51 percent, and you're okay. If the anger is 51 percent, the comedy is gone.

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The Connection is enormously valuable. College graduates ought to use their education and remember: It's not who you know, it's whom.

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Death is always a third act twist to life, and we won't know until we die whether the play was a comedy or a tragedy.

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Freedom is best viewed broadly. As the Victorians would say, as long as it doesn't scare the horses, do what you want.

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Housework is awful because you make the beds, you do the dishes, and six months later, you have to start all over again.

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Laughter is a sufficient condition in being able to face a problem. If you laugh at it, you can deal with it.

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Marriage requires being flexible, or what the Japanese call 'the wise bamboo,' which means you bend so you don't break.

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Maturity is coming to recognize that, with time, it (whatever it is) doesn't get better, rather, it is you that gets better.

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Money can't buy you happiness but it can pay for the plastic surgery.

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Money may not be the key to happiness, but if you have enough money, you can have a key made.