Richard BanyanThinkers

Air conditioning is an invention for sucking the warmth out of the sensuous summer air, so that we might shiver in July and work through the season without dreaming of hammocks or lemonade.

The Avant-garde is the folks who design the emperor's new clothes.

A Bed & Breakfast | B&B is, In Britain, a cheery and inexpensive lodging place that astonishes travelers with monumental helpings of toast and marmalade, cereal and cream, sausage, bacon, eggs and grilled tomatoes.

A Bed & Breakfast | B&B is, in the U.S., a pricy sleep-in antique gallery managed by polite neat-freaks, married or otherwise coupled, who shrewdly feed their guests oat-bran muffins in the hope that they might survive long enough to return next year.

A Bestseller is what a book is called when as many people buy it in a year as fill a stadium for a single University of Michigan football game.

Consciousness-raising is the fine art of teaching well-adjusted citizens to view themselves as victims of oppression.

Cost-effective is the only type of activity that would be worth pursuing if accountants ruled the world, which of course they do.

DIY is hire-a-professional-one-month-later-to-redo-it-for-$800-more-than-it-would-have-cost-originally.

A Facelift is temporary restoration of the visage we wore in youth, but one size smaller.

A Fast food restaurant is a tidy, congenial roadside bistro that clogs the nation's highways and the arteries of their patrons.

Gay bashing is violence against men who love men by men who fear they love men.