Benny YoungmanThinkers

Alcohol is a liquid effective for preserving everything - except secrets.

A Babysitter is a teenager who gets two dollars an hour to eat five dollars' worth of your food.

A Credit card one is wise not to report lost if whoever finds it spends less than one does oneself.

Inflation seems to have made us stronger, because twenty years ago, it took two people to carry ten dollars' worth of groceries, but today, a five-year-old can do it.

Jazz is juggling with harmonies instead of oranges.

A Kiss is the shortest distance between the two.

A Psychiatrist is a Jewish doctor who can't stand the sight of blood.

Psychoanalysis is where you can spend more on a couch than some people do on a six-room house.

Strip poker is the only game where the more you lose, the more you have to show for it.