Bill BrysonThinkers

The Computer is a stupid machine with the ability to do incredibly smart things, while computer programmers are smart people with the ability to do incredibly stupid things.

The Cow is the only possible pet. They will listen to your problems and never ask a thing in return. They will be your friends forever. And when you get tired of them, you can kill and eat them.

Italy is a country whose technological contribution to humankind stopped with the pizza oven.

Language is more fashion than science, and matters of usage, spelling, and pronunciation tend to wander around like hemlines.

Leadership is the unlocking of people's potential to become better.

New England is a place where there are three times of year; either winter has just been, or winter is coming, or it's winter.

The Southerner has the speech patterns of someone slipping in and out of consciousness.

The Southerner is so slow of speech one can change their shoes and socks faster than most people in Mississippi can speak a sentence.

Travel is a portal to the feeling of wonder — nothing excites a great sense of childlike wonder than to be in a country where you are ignorant of almost everything.

Turkey (country) is a country whose music is like a man having a vasectomy without anaesthtic to the sound of frantic sitar playing.