Bill VaughanThinkers

Background music is a personality test of sorts. Either heaven or hell will have it on continuously. Which one you think it will be says a lot about you.

The Bicycle is the most efficient machine ever created: converting calories into gas, a bicycle gets the equivalent of 3,000 miles per gallon.

Experience is something I always think I have until I get more of it.

An Invitation is always wanted, even when it's unwanted. Nothing is more irritating than not being invited to a party you wouldn't be caught dead at.

Loss is important in the game of life, as it relieves you of the pressure of trying to maintain an undefeated season.

Man is the animal that intends to shoot himself out into interplanetary space, after having given up on the problem of an efficient way to get himself five miles to work and back each day.

Money won't buy you happiness, but it will pay the salaries of a large research staff to study the problem.

Optimism is compared to pessimism in that the optimist stays up until midnight to see the New Year in while a pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves.

A Parking ticket is universally disliked, expect by the true patriot, for he must rejoice that the system works.

A Patriot is the fellow who gets a parking ticket and rejoices that the system works.