Dave BarryThinkers

Aerobics is comes from two Greek words: aero, meaning ability to, and bics, meaning "withstand tremendous boredom.".

An Ant is a tiny creature with a primitive brain no larger than that of a psychic-hotline caller.

Aria is Italian for 'a song that will not end in your lifetime'.

The Army is a place where you get up early in the morning to be yelled at by people with short haircuts and tiny brains.

Breasts is a body part whose primary biological function scientists now believe is to make males stupid.

Camping is nature's way of promoting the motel industry.

The Democrat is one who generally seems to be a nicer person, but they have demonstrated time and again that they have the management skills of celery. They're the kind of people who'd stop to help you change a flat, but would somehow manage to set your car on fire..

The Dictionary is a book where, if it's big enough, then just about everything is a word.

Disney World is a place where the rest rooms are clean enough for neurosurgery.

The Dog , when washed, never scratches, like cats, but just becomes very sad and tries to figure out what it did wrong.

The Dog is an animal for whom the ground is a giant newspaper, containing all kinds of late-breaking news items. Dogs sniff the ground to keep abreast of current events.