Erma BombeckThinkers

The 4th of July is the American celebration of independence, a celebration not with a parade of guns, tanks, and soldiers who file by the White House in a show of strength and muscle, but with family picnics where kids throw Frisbees, the potato salad gets iffy, and the flies die from happiness.

Advertising is influential for children. Many of our children refuse to eat anything that hasn't danced on tv.

Advertising is so advanced that many children refuse to eat anything that they haven't seen dancing on TV.

The Bathroom is a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car.

The Cat is the inventor of self-esteem.

The Cat is the inventor or self-esteem... there is not an insecure bone in their body.

The Child is the most suspicious diner in the world. They will eat mud (raw or baked) rocks, paste, crayons, ball-point pens, moving goldfish, cigarette butts, and cat food, but try to coax a little beef stew into their mouths and they look at you like a puppy when you stand over him with the Sunday paper rolled up.

Coffee is the only thing "real" men make that doesn't seem to threaten their masculinity.

The Cookbook is a kind of book which, for many of us, belongs in the fiction section of the bookstore.

Guilt is the gift that keeps on giving.

Housework can kill you if done right.

Marriage is like buying a bathing suit; look for something you'll feel comfortable wearing, allow for room to grow.