Fred AllenThinkers

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An Associate producer is the only guy in Hollywood who will associate with a producer.

A Celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, and then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized..

The Circus is a great show if it is half as good as it smells.

Coffee is, in England, like water that has been squeezed out of a wet sleeve.

A Committee is a group of important individuals who singly can do nothing but who can together agree that nothing can be done.

A Committee is a group of the unprepared, appointed by the unwilling to do the unnecessary.

A Conference is a gathering of important people who singly can do nothing, but together can decide that nothing can be done.

Criticism is toothless. If it had any real power to harm, the skunk would have been extinct by now.

An Executive is an ulcer with authority.

A Gentleman is any man who wouldn't hit a woman with his hat on.