Jack BennyThinkers

The Boy Scouts is made up of troops of twelve little kids dressed like schmucks following a big schmuck dressed like a kid.

A Cannibal is a guy who goes into a restaurant and orders the waiter.

Comedy is based on seven principles: The joke, exaggeration, ridicule, ignorance, surprise, the pun, and finally, the comic situation.

Comedy is not so much knowing when to speak, when to pause.

Hors d'oeuvre is French for anchovy sandwhich cut into 20 pieces.

An Opportunist is a person who strikes a 50-50 deal in such a way that he insists on getting the hyphen as well.

The Rich is a group who aren't afraid to ask the salesperson to show them something cheaper.

Statistics is always proving that the best time to buy anything was last year.