Jackie GleasonThinkers

Comedy is the most exacting form of dramatic art, because it has an instant critic: Laughter.

Drinking removes warts and pimples; not from oneself, but from those one looks at.

A Drunk is an alcoholic who doesn't have to go to all those boring old meetings.

Modesty is the artifice of actors, similar to passion in call girls.

Television criticism is like describing an accident to an eye-witness.