Jasmine BirtlesThinkers

A Baby is a small creature that gets you down during the day and up at night.

A Babysitter is someone you pay by the hour to eat all your food and let your kids do what they want.

The Child is a drain on resources and your resources down the drain.

The Child is a small, sweet thing with Mafia tendencies.

A Diet is a short period of starvation followed by a rapid gain of five pounds.

Divorce is nature's way of recycling.

A Drunk is someone on a liquid diet.

Education is what parents receive when they sit in on a conversation between teenagers.

Euthanasia is never having to tell your parents you're sorry.

Gossip is to share knowledge.

Health food is the food they serve in hell.