Jeff GreenThinkers

Cuddling is pleasant act of affection always requested at the wrong time.

Feng Shui is ancient Chinese art of getting men to put the toilet lid down.

Foreplay is a fine emergency substitute if you run out of KY Jelly.

Guilt is a pointless, negative emotion that is easily removed by a simple lowering of basic personal standards.

Love is that feeling you get in your guts when you see a girl across a crowded room and think, 'Wow. One day I'm going to make you the unhappiest woman alive..'

Shopping is like sex for men too in that they can only manage it for five minutes and then they get tired.

Zinc is the element needed to maintain good sexual function. Found in oysters and tin baths.