Jerry SeinfeldThinkers

Advertising is an excellent use of one's time in order to try to dupe innocent people out of hard-won earnings to buy useless, low-quality, misrepresented items and services.

Attention is a hoax of a concept. People have an infinite attention span if you are entertaining them.

Attention is infinite if you are being entertained.

The Baby is make no mistake, here here for one reason: They are here to replace us.

The Best man is not really the best man. If he were, then why is the bride not marrying him?

A Book 1s 2ig advantage is that it's very easy to rewind. Close it and you're right back at the beginning.

Crankiness is at the essence of all comedy.

Cremation is, in contrast to the big, thick granite stone with one's name carved into with a chisel, like one is trying to cover up a crime and make it as if the whole thing never happened.

Dating is pressure and tension... a job interview that lasts all night.

A Dog is loved because they stay stupid as long as we know them, always in a state of utter amazement at the same simplest accomplishments such as returning home or getting dinner ready.