Jim MurrayThinkers

Baseball is a game where a curve is an optical illusion, a screwball can be a pitch or a person, stealing is legal and you can spit anywhere except in the umpire's eye or on the ball.

Golf is the cruelest of sports. Like life, it's unfair. It's a harlot. A trollop. It leads you on. It never lives up to its promises. It's a boulevard of broken dreams. It plays with men. And runs off with the butcher.

Golf is not a game, it's bondage. It was obviously devised by a man torn with guilt, eager to atone for his sins.

The Good loser is one who is likely playing golf with his boss.

Hockey is a game played by six good players and the home team.

Hockey is murder on ice.

An Irishman is a guy who believes everything he can't see, and nothing he can.

An Irishman is a guy who has such great respect for the truth, he only uses it in emergencies.

Mike Tyson is a beast. When he gets mad you don't need a referee, you need a priest.

Soccer is a game in which everyone does a lot of running around. Twenty-one guys stand around and one guy does a tap dance with the ball.

Spokane is such a small town that that there's nothing to do after 10 o'clock. In the morning..