Joachim Graf
Definition.com
The Computer is apparatus to relieve you of all the work which you wouldn't have had without it.
Definition.com
A Computer programmer is a person who, at dead of night, uses unreliable hardware with totally unsuitable development packages for incompatible systems, to convert contradictory requests from incompetent operators into a program which no one will use anyway.
Definition.com
Software is the successful attempt to make the most of the errors of computer hardware and to add new errors through development.