John MortimerThinkers

Dieting is just spending your life worrying about what one eats for an extra three years in the geriatric ward.

Dieting is senseless. There's no pleasure worth foregoing just for an extra three years in the geriatric ward.

The English (language) is the language in which what a character means or feels has to be deduced from what he or she says, which may be quite the opposite.

Exercise is a short cut to the cemetery.

Farce is tragedy played at a thousand revolutions per minute.

Fear is a tragedy played at a thousand revolutions per minute.

France is loved by the British, but they would prefer it if the French didn't live there.

Law is a field requiring no brilliance, just common sense and relatively clean fingernails.

Life is a mystery which defies solution.

Marriage is like pleading guilty to an indefinite sentence. Without parole.

A War on Terrorism is an impracticable conception if it means fighting terrorism with terrorism.