middle age

optimist

is the time when one does not need drugs any more because one can get the same effect just by standing up real fast.

It's official. I'm middle-aged. I don't need drugs any more. I can get the same effect just by standing up real fast.

is someone on death row who is also a member of Weight Watchers.

, if ever found to exist as a gene, will be found hiding behind a couple of other genes.

They've just found a gene for shyness. They would have found it earlier but it was hiding behind a couple of other genes.