Milton BerleThinkers

Alimony is always having to say you're sorry.

Alimony is giving comfort to the enemy.

Alimony is like not reporting a lost credit card.

Alimony is like paying for a subscription to a magazine that's stopped publication.

Alimony is the billing without the cooing.

Alimony is the screwing a man gets for the screwing he got.

America is a country whose citizens are endowed with life, liberty, and some eight thousand dollars' worth of national debt.

America is a country where the way of life is to always spend more than you make.

America is the only country where a housewife hires a woman to do her cleaning so she can do volunteer work at the day-care center where the cleaning woman leaves her child.

An Antique is a household object that's made a round trip to the attic.

The Antique is differentiated by junk by who it is that is running the garage sale.

An Antique's too old for the poor, but not too old for the rich.