Richard JeniThinkers

Chicago is a city that got started when a bunch of people in new york said, 'gee, i'm enjoying the crime and the poverty, but it just isn't cold enough. Let's go west'.

The Lobster is one of the only animals that have to put up with being alive in the restaurant. If you go to a steakhouse, folks - no cow tank.

Miami is a place where 1,000 different nationalities get together and give each other the finger on 1-95.

The President is an acting job which nobody is really qualified for. Elections are nothing but a big casting call every four years.

A Religious war is just killing each other to see who's got the better imaginary friend.

A Tattoo is, on a woman, a signal to the pickup artist that she is the kind of person who is capable of making a decision she'll regret in the future.

The Tattoo is a telling thing when on a woman's body. Such women are always good to hit on because they've already proved themselves to be the kind of gal capable of making a decision she'll regret in the future.