Robert BenchleyThinkers

Central park is the grandiose symbol of the front yard each child in new york hasn't got.

The Dachshund is an ideal dog for small children, as they are already stretched and pulled to such a length that the child cannot do much harm one way or the other.

Death is the only cure for a real hangover.

A Freelance writer is a man who is paid per piece or per word or perhaps.

The Hangover's only real cure is death.

A Hangover is that for which the only cure is death.

Humor is ephemeral — defining and analyzing it is a pastime of humorless people.

Keeping silent is often wise — drawing on your fine command of the English language, say nothing.

Laughter is a muscular rigidity spasmodically relieved by involuntary twitching.

A Neighbor is someone who has just run out of something.

Procrastination is colored by the truism that any one can do any amount of work, provided it isn't the work he is supposed to be doing at that moment.