Robin WilliamsThinkers

Ballet is a bunch of men wearing pants so tight that you can tell what religion they are.

Canada is a group of people who started a country and no one showed up.

Canada is a country where people only have sex doggy style... that way you can both see the hockey game.

The Cat only pretends to be domesticated if it thinks there's a bowl of milk in it for them.

Taking Cocaine is like being a haemophiliac in a razor factory.

Cocaine is god's way of saying you're making too much money.

Comedy is acting out optimism.

Comedy is emotional hang-gliding.

Confederate flag is just a symbol of states’ rights in the same way the Swastika is just a Tibetan good luck charm.

Cricket (sport) is baseball on valium.

Death is nature's way of saying, 'your table is ready'.

Divorce is expensive... with alimony it is essentially ripping your heart out through your wallet.

Divorce is from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet.

Giving birth is not an experience the father can really ever share in . . . unless he is opening an umbrella up his ass.