S.J. PerelmanThinkers

A Farm is an irregular patch of nettles, bound by short term notes, containing a fool and his wife who didn't know enough to stay in the city.

Groucho Marx is a major comedian, which is to say that he has the compassion of an icicle, the effrontery of a carnival shill, and the generosity of a pawn broker.

Hollywood is a dreary industrial town controlled by hoodlums of enormous wealth, the ethical sense of a pack of jackals, and taste so degraded that it befouled everything to touch it.

Hollywood is the city of dreadful day.

Love is the distant chord of a violin and the triumphant twang of a bed spring.

Love is not the dying moan of a distant violin it's the triumphant twang of a bedspring.

Philadelphia is a metropolis sometimes known as the City of Brotherly Love, but more accurately as the City of Bleak November Afternoons.

Screenwriting is an occupation akin to stuffing kapok in mattresses.