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Steve Allen

26 December 1921-30 October 2000

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Capital punishment is often rationalized by pointing to the bible. But if the Old Testament were a reliable guide in the matter of capital punishment, half the people in the United States would have to be killed tomorrow.

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Comedy is a profession involving otherwise sane and responsible citizens who devote their professional energies to causing others to make sharp, explosive barking-like exhalations.

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The Fundamentalist is a weird intellectual who often lacks real faith altogether. As a self-appointed attorney for God, he is deaf to poetry, and very easily turns out to be more Godless than the agnostic and the unbeliever.

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Humor is a social lubricant that helps us get over some of the bad spots.

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Laughter is so important to us humans that humanity highly rewards those who make a living by inducing others to make sharp, explosive barking-like exhalations.

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Laughter is an odd bodily gesture. We are left to wonder why it is a physical reflex and convulsive spasm of the respiratory mechanism rather than a crossing of the eyes or a waving of the arms.

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Man (human) is sort of roadhouse where his ancestors stop for a while on their way to become his descendants.