Thomas BeechamThinkers

The Bagpipes is an instrument that sounds exactly the same when you have finished learning it as when you start.

A Brass band is all very well in their place - outdoors and several miles away.

A Composer is one who really ought to write tunes that chauffeurs and errand boys can whistle.

The Englishman is not prone to like music, but they absolutely love the noise it makes.

The Harpsichord is an instrument that sounds like two skeletons copulating on a corrugated tin roof.

The Harpsichord is an instrument whose sound resembles that of a bird-cage played with toasting forks.

Hiring women is inadvisable because if they're pretty, they distract my musicians, and if they're not, they distract the conductor.

Jazz's purpose is the destruction of music.

Jazz is the most degraded form of human aberration.

Karlheinz Stockhausen is an experimental musician. Even if you have not heard it you likely have stepped in some.

Karlheinz Stockhausen is a composer you man not have heard from, but you've likely stepped in some.

Ludwig van Beethoven is a composer whose last quartets were written by a deaf man and should only be listened to by a deaf man.

Music is good when it is that which penetrates the ear with facility and quits the memory with difficulty.

Music is great when it penetrates the ear with facility and leaves the memory with difficulty. Magical music never leaves the memory.