Tom LehrerThinkers

Altruism is always to be practiced when one is sure someone's watching you.

The American city is very pretty; just don't drink the water and don't breathe the air.

Life is like a sewer. What you get out of it depends on what you put in.

Political correctness is a funny thing. Twenty years ago, there were all sorts of words you couldn't say in front of a girl. Nowadays, you can say all the words, but you mustn't say "girl.