W.C. FieldsThinkers

An Alcoholic is anybody who drinks more than I do.

Ambition is not above cheating. A thing worth having is a thing worth cheating for.

Attitude is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than what people do or say. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill.

Beer has been helping ugly people have sex since 3000 B.C..

Business is an activity where it is understood that one can fool some of the people some of the time . . . and that's enough to make a decent living.

Cleverness is deviousness. The clever cat eats cheese and breathes down rat holes with baited breath.

Conformity is easy. Even a dead fish can float downstream... it takes a live one to swim upstream.

Happiness is to have quiet nerves.

Heart is nothing one need bother worrying about, as it is sure to last one as long as one lives.