Yakov Smirnoff
Definition.com
America is different from Russia in this: In America, you can always find a party. In Russia, the party always finds you.
Definition.com
A Political party is a thing one can always find in America. In Russia the party always finds you.
Definition.com
Russia is a country that had only two TV channels during the communist era. Channel One was propaganda. Channel Two consisted of a KGB officer telling you, 'Tum back immediately to Channel One.'.
Definition.com
Russia is the greatest country in the world, were it not necessary to eat or wear clothes.
Definition.com
Russia is dangerous: In America, you can always find a party. In Russia, the party always finds you.
Definition.com
Vodka is, for Russians, what therapy is for Americans: habit-forming and it destroys your ability to live a normal life.