An Award show (n.) is poor people paying to see rich people give each other awards for who can lie to poor people better.

An Award show (n.) is televised contest in whch the suspense builds as performing millionaires vie to see who can stage the most embarrassing spectacle.

An Award show (n.) is an embarrassing spectacle whose winning techniques include gratuitous gushing, name-dropping, and self-congratulatory political statements on behalf of oppressed indigenous peoples.

Television (n.) is an ugly piece of furniture.

Television (n.) is automated day-dreaming.

Television (n.) is the paradise of mediocrity.

Television (n.) is the glue that keeps us apart.

An Award (n.) is like a coin; local value given to a bit of base metal; but gold and silver will pass all the world over, without any other recommendation than their own weight.

An Award (n.) often gets one into disreputable company.

An Award (n.) is the badge of mediocrity.

An Award (n.) is a measurement of the degree to which an Establishment meets the talent which it had hindered and helped.

An Actor (n.) is the only honest hypocrite.

The Actor (n.) is a sculptor who carves in ice.

An Actor (n.) is any element that bends space around itself.

The Actor (n.) is an athlete of the heart.