self indulgence, n.All

Self-indulgence (n.) ties ⁠​‌​​​‌​​​‌​‌‌​​​​‌​‌​​‌‌​‌​​‌​​​​​‌‌​​‌​​​‌‌​‌‌​⁠your well-being to whatever happens to you.

Self-indulgence (n.) is ⁠​‌​​​‌​​​‌​‌‌​​​​‌​‌​​‌‌​‌​​‌​​​​​‌‌​​‌​​​‌‌​‌‌​⁠delighting in getting yourself dirty, like a pig, governed by your own lack of control.

Self-indulgence (n.) ends ⁠​‌​​​‌​​​‌​‌‌​​​​‌​‌​​‌‌​‌​​‌​​​​​‌‌​​‌​​​‌‌​‌‌​⁠as voyeurism: the worn-out soul views others' pleasures instead of its own and becomes the go-between and witness of passions it can no longer feel.