4th of july, n.Definitions

The 4th of July is the oven's day off. It is a day where, by unwritten law, everybody eats outdoors.

4th of July is a day on which we drink until we see stars and stripes

4th of July is, for the slave, a day that reveals to him, more than all other days of the year, the gross injustices and cruelty to which he is the constant victim.

4th of July is celebrated in a truly American way; namely, by blowing things up and taking a day off from work.

The 4th of July is the American celebration of independence, a celebration not with a parade of guns, tanks, and soldiers who file by the White House in a show of strength and muscle, but with family picnics where kids throw Frisbees, the potato salad gets iffy, and the flies die from happiness.

4th of July is a day that ought to be commemorated as the day of deliverance by solemn acts of devotion.

4th of July is spending hours sitting on hot, crowded highways so you can spend hours sitting on hot, crowded beaches.

The 4th of July is when a whole country eats hot dogs and blows stuff up to remind their ex how well they've been doing since the breakup.