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Definition.com

Spanish is Japanese with a few consonant clusters added to fool you into thinking it's Romance.

Definition.com

Spanish is basically just a crude form of Vulgar Latin jazzed up with a little Basque and Arabic.

Definition.com

The Spanish is majestical, but fulsome, running too much on the o, and terrible like the devil in a play.

Definition.com

Spanish is a dialect of Californian English used for increasing the value of real estate. (Gee, wouldn't this faux Spanish strip mall be worth $200,000 more if it was called Plaza del Mucho Dinero?)

Definition.com

Spanish is a five-vowel variant of standard Italian, but with no gemination, except ll and rr, which have become qualitatively different.

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