academic, n.Definitions

An Academic is someone who studies the passion-stains on the bedsheets.

The Academic is apish, parrot-like, phonographic.

The Academic is one who cares more about whether ideas are interesting than whether they are true.

The Academic is of, or pertaining to, fossils; vegetative; parasitic; the opposite of change, viable, evolution.

The Academic is one who gets paid for being clever, not for being right.

The Academic is one who wields culture as an instrument to manufacture academics, who, when their turn comes, will manufacture academics.

An Academic is a person whose job it was to tell us how to solve the problems of life which he himself had avoided by becoming a professor.

The Academic is today, no longer the unworldly innocuous scholar wrapped up in the arcane, but is instead, a wised-up, ambitious person, more interested in deals and endowments, and the invention of lucrative new subdisciplines.