Definition.com
An Computer programmer is someone who solves a problem you didn't know you had in a way you don't understand.
Definition.com
A Computer programmer is a red-eyed, mumbling mammal capable of conversing with inanimate objects
Definition.com
The Computer programmer is theone who programmed the program that programmers use for programming programs.
Definition.com
A Computer programmer is a person who, at dead of night, uses unreliable hardware with totally unsuitable development packages for incompatible systems, to convert contradictory requests from incompetent operators into a program which no one will use anyway.