conservative, n.Definitions

The Conservative is not always stupid, but the stupid tend to always be conservative.

A Conservative is a man with two perfectly good legs though has never learned how to walk forward.

A Conservative is a liberal who's been mugged, and a libertarian is a conservative who's been indicted.

A Conservative is a liberal who's been mugged, just as a liberal is a conservative who's been arrested.

The Conservative is both the very poor, who cannot afford the effort of taking thought for the day after tomorrow and the very wealthy, who have small occasion to be discontented with the situation as it stands today.

A Conservative is a man who will not look at the new moon out of respect for that 'ancient institution' the old one.

The Conservative is engaged in one of man's oldest exercises in moral philosophy; the search for a superior moral justification for selfishness.

A Conservative is a man in power, and a liberal is one who wants to get there. That is all the difference.