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Definition.com

A Lecture is an entertainment at which it costs but little to look intelligent

Definition.com

A Lecture is an occasion when you numb one end to benefit the other

Definition.com

A Lecture makes you feel numb on one end and dumb on the other.

Definition.com

A Lecture is the art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through the minds of either.

Definition.com

The Lecture is dreadfully boring and good for only one thing - to give a certain education to the persons who write the lectures.

Definition.com

A Lecture is a process by which a professor's notes are passed to his students without necessarily passing through the brains of either.