obituary, n.Definitions

Obituary is the reference required for those seeking admission to heaven.

The Obituary is proof that all people die in alphabetical order.

Obituary is the only kind of bad publicity for a writer.

An Obituary is not the last word in a man's life, but the first word in his afterlife.

An Obituary is the final summation of our lives that, for most of us, occupies about three inches of space in what will shortly become cage liner for our neighbor's parakeet.

The Obituary is morally tricky. Many of us have never killed a man, but have read many obituaries with a lot of pleasure.