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Definition.com

Pedophile is one who thinks ‘Too Young’ is just some chinese girl's name.

Definition.com

A Pedophile is a man who dates girls so young he can't decide if he wants to adopt them or marry them

Definition.com

Pedophile is a man who, upon being told 'You're a pervert' by his girlfriend, would have to repond, "Well, that sure is a big word for a nine-year old."