Politeness is a certain attention that causes others to be content with us and with themselves.
Politeness is an interpassive activity whereby we accomplish a task concerning our inner feelings and beliefs without really mobilizing these inner states. When we say 'glad to see you! How are you today'' It is clear to both of us that, in a way, I do not mean it seriously, but on a deeper level we would mean it if we bothered to think about it.
Politeness , in Japan, is not simply insincerity. The Japanese are well aware that something which may appear superficial and unnecessary, has a much deeper structural function.. .. A ridiculous thing at a deeper level might play a stabilizing function we are not aware of.
Politeness is an enigmatic status where we mean neither seriously nor ironically what we say. The polite exchange establishes a pact between us.
Politeness is a false coin with which it is foolish to be stingy. To make enemies by unnecessary and willful incivility, is just as insane a proceeding as to set your house on fire.