santa claus, n.Definitions

Santa Claus is a lot like a politician, always promising more than he can deliver.

Santa Claus is jolly because Dad pays for all the toys, and Santa gets all the credit.

Santa Claus is a Christmas crea · ture by whom children are sometimes confused, often amused, but never refused.

Santa Claus is so jolly . . . because he knows where all the bad girls live.

Santa Claus is, for black folk, unbelievable because everyone knows no white dude would come into a black neighborhood after dark,.

Santa Claus is at root a cruel notion. Because he only gives presents to good kids, at a young age, children come to the idea that people with less are morally inferior.

Santa Claus is the rotund, red-suited gentleman who embodies all that is magical and good, and whose inevitable demise drives many of his young mourners into lifelong careers as cynics.

Santa Claus is a festively attired and high-profile serial burglar who routinely forces eight animals to perform a jaw-dropping feat of physical labor so that he can ply the children whose movements he monitors with the presents he has coerced hundreds of unpaid social outcasts to make.